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10 Ways to Support an Adoptive Family

Thank you to everyone for continued support. Thi is based on an article I just read: [Disclaimer: This is not an all-encompassing list, nor are these any sort of commandments thou shall follow. They are simply ideas and examples of what helped us in our family's journey.] 1.) Pray Let the adoptive family know you’re praying for them. Let them know more than once. Send an encouraging email, card, text message, or Facebook message letting them know you’re thinking of the adoptive family. Chocolate is always good, too 2.) Be Present When you ask an adoptive family how they’re doing, listen to their response. There might not be anything you can do to physically help their journey go smoother or faster or easier, but being present is so important. 3.) Give Financially Our friends and family are so generous — not just with their hearts, but their pocket books. Remember, the average cost of an infant domestic adoption runs upwards of $30,000 – $40,000. Whatever you can give, consider giving to an adoptive family. No amount is too small. The financial burden of the adoption process is intimidating and worrisome. By supporting an adoptive family financially, you will have an automatic investment in the life of a child while also validating the health of a birth mother during her pregnancy. 4.) Offer Fundraising Ideas Offer creative ideas to help offset the financial burden for an adoptive family. Do your kids like to have lemonade stands? Have them host one for a cause. Do you have items you want to get rid of? Offer them to an adoptive family for a garage sale. Better yet — offer to host a garage sale with proceeds going to the adoptive family! 5.) Attend Events Attend an event that benefits an adoptive family. Whether it’s a Pancake Breakfast or Wine Event, attend what you can. I can’t tell you how much it means to see familiar faces from high school, college, work, church, etc., at events. Sometimes the “being present” factor is more important than the financial factor. To know there are people standing with an adoptive family is so important. 6.) Celebrate Milestones Celebrating milestones with an adoptive family is so much fun. Often times, adoptive families miss out on having a fun pregnancy announcement or gender reveal party or maternity photos. So offer to help celebrate the unique milestones that come along with the adoption process! There are so many milestones to celebrate with an adoptive family — and they are WORTH celebrating. 7.) Treat New Adoptive Parents As You Would Treat Any New Parents We need support just as ANY new parents need support. We struggle with sleep just as ANY new parents do. We are emotional at this significant life change just as ANY new parents are. When an adoptive family brings their child home, offer to bring meals or mow the lawn or fold the laundry, etc. Don’t believe us when we say we have it all under control. [We're lying.] New adoptive parents are the same as any new parents in that we’re trying to balance parenthood with daily life, and it’s challenging! 8.) Use Positive Adoption Language When talking to an adoptive family, be as considerate as you would with any new family. Use broad questions and steer clear of asking detailed questions about birth parents or familial histories. Please understand there are some details we don’t want to share. And don’t be offended if we bypass your question. Perhaps most importantly, please know we don’t expect perfection when it comes to talking about our adoption journey. If you’re not sure how to ask something or how to phrase something — ask us! We don’t expect all of our friends and family members and acquaintances to be politically correct all the time. 9.) Give Time Adoption is a lengthy, sometimes draining process. Often times, adoptive parents are in another state — or even another country — for WEEKS while government entities work to approve clearances before they are allowed to go home. Adoptive parents are at the whim of the government, and vacation time is quickly exhausted before they can even begin bonding at home with their child. 10.) Ask Questions, Share and Educate Adoptive families are part of a unique club. We have an unspoken bond between us — one of understanding, empathy, heartache, joy. When we announced our plans to adopt, we immediately received so much support from friends and family members. I know this is a long post, but I think it’s one worth sharing. These tips, as I mentioned, are not all-encompassing. But I hope you find them helpful.